I fuc***** love birthdays.
Like I love birthdays like Hagrid loves birthdays.
I mean who doesn’t love balloons and streamers and blowing out candles??! Answer: everybody.
Chances are if we’re friends, or even just acquaintances I’m baking you an extravagant 3 layer cake based on the immense amount of internet stalking I’ve done to find out your dessert preferences.
And if we’re REALLY close friends? Oh so help you because I will be filling your bedroom with balloons and waking you up at 6 am by jumping on your bed singing Katy Perry songs.
Yeah. I’m insane.
You know what I love more than other people’s birthday?
My own birthday.
I am aware of how self indulgent that sounds but I mean COME ON!
An entire day (or month in my case) dedicated to YOU
Okay okay okay don’t go tearing me apart saying I’m in love with myself (because I so am not)
But I mean come on, actress, youtuber, obviously I’m obsessed with attention (sue me)
But all my humility aside (lol) – my birthday is my favorite holiday next to Christmas
Yet I continiously commit the worlds biggest birthday sin- one I agonize my friends over
I don’t like cake.
Okay I mean in the scheme of desserts and sweets I think cake is probably up there- but in general? I don’t really like sweets.
Hold back your pitchforks and torches
I am so aware of how ironic this is that a baker doesn’t enjoy baked goods
But I mean have you EVER HAD FRENCH FRIES?!?!?
I cannot wrap my head over choosing a candy bar over french fries smothered in ketchup (omfg I’m drooling)
So for my 23rd birthday (TOMORROW OMG ITS TOMORROW!!!) I thought I’d bake something I’d actually want to eat.
And with that being said, ladies & gentlegiants,
I present to you,
The Burger Birthday Cake.
*faints into bowl of sweet potatoes*
I’ll give you a minute alone 😉
- 2 lbs of ground bison*
- 1 tsp black pepper
- 1 tsp smoked pepprika
- 1 tsp garlic powder
- 1 tsp. onion powder
- ½ head of cauliflower (chopped)
- ½ onion diced
- 1 tbs minced garlic
- 1 tsp onion powder
- ½ tsp black pepper
- ½-1 cup chicken stock
- 3 medium sweet potatoes (roasted & mashed)
- Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees F
- Combine ground bison & spices (to taste)
- Separate into 3 equal sized "cakes" (free form or use springform pans)
- Bake as desired for your personal meat preferences
- Set aside to cool
- Place cauliflower, onion & spices to taste into saucepan with stock over medium/ high heat
- Cook until cauliflower breaks down and liquid starts to boil
- Take off heat and let cool for 5-10 minutes
- Place cauliflower mixture into blender/food processor and blend until smooth
- Set aside to cool
- Bake sweet potatoes until soft to the touch (30-45 minutes)
- Discard skins, mash
- -best when "frosted" warm!
- *feel free to sub whatever meat you want in for this but make sure it's COOKED! Beef/bison can be served medium/rare where as poultry such as turkey/chicken needs to be cooked all the way through. Veggie lovers- sub in any alts you desire!
Excuse me while I stuff my face.
Hey, it’s my birthday & I’ll eat if I want to 😉